Do you know what 50-Cent did when he got hungry?
58.
Don't delete me.

"Orion's Belt is a giant waist of space."
Terrible joke. Only three stars.

Nurse: How do you rate your pain?
Patient: Zero stars.
Nurse: ...
Patient: Would not recommend.
(Just like this joke!)

Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon if you need to cook bacon and bake cookies?

"Hi, do you take walk-in appointments?"
Morgue: "... What?"

I live for two reasons:
1. I was born.
2. I haven't died yet.

Bread is a lot like the sun.
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

I never thought orthopedic shoes would work for me.
But I stand corrected.

Seriously... Who is writing this stuff?